Romantic!

"Thank you, God, for giving me such a beautiful wife!"
"Natalie, these girls are my life!"

You have said 2 of the sweetest things I have ever heard in my life to me over the past few weeks- so romantic and special to me that I never want to forget them! I am treasuring them in my heart, but I wanted to write them down here as well so that when I am old and have no memory, I can reflect on how beautifully you loved me.  How well you knew me- knew just what to say to make me melt.  The way that you loved our children. The way that you listened to what I had to say.  I am currently working with Johanna on praying to God just throughout the day- lately, we have been saying, "Thank you, God, for the beautiful colors of Fall" every time that we see a tree with lots of reds, oranges, and yellow.  And I had spoken to you about the importance of us praying out loud throughout the day to demonstrate our faith and active relationship with God to her.  So, then for you to thank God for my beauty was so meaningful.  We had just had a big fight the night before and were over it, but I think both still feeling a little wounded and you got off work early and came home right when both girls went down for a nap. and then you made love to me and romanced me with those beautiful words... you are so romantic! and you bought me flowers a few days ago- just because I had been sick and had a hard week.  And today, I watched you play with Johanna for a long time- you were cracking her up.  You really do see her as your best friend and you delight in her, which is exactly what she needs! You are such an incredible father.  You do such a wonderful job providing for your girls- your emotionally needy girls. You pour into us- listening, talking, playing, delighting in, and you never complain.  I cannot express my gratitude for you in words-  I hope and pray that you feel it in my kisses, my touches, my hugs, my love.  I love doing life together with you! And I cannot imagine how you can get any better than this, but I know that like wine you will get better with age and experience and I am so excited to continue to be romanced by you for the rest of my life! And I pray I can return the favor and make you so happy you might burst! xoxoxoxo

You are so so good to me!

Right now, we are laying in bed touching feet. You are already asleep because you woke up around 4:15 this morning.  You got up after I came back from feeding June and was complaining that your 3d printer was too loud for me to go back to sleep...you are so excited about your new toy you did an overnight print! So you got up and slept on the couch so I could shut the door and fall asleep...but then June woke up at 5:20 and you got up with her and let me sleep! Because I have had a nasty cold this whole week. and because you are so so good to me. I am so in awe of the way that you serve me. Of the way that you are so quick to support anything I want to do. Of the way you encourage me to have fun and leave the busy for later. Of the way you help me enjoy life. Of the way you love me...you love me so perfectly! And I am falling even more in love with you! I am loving this stage in our marriage- we are starting our slow season and are soaking up nap times and evenings together after the babies are in bed- it is so fun reconnecting! We have been getting to spend so much time together and it is such a nice change of pace- reminds me of our early marriage!
You are into 3d printing- and I am learning so much about you. You have the strength of ideation. So idea, in general, fascinate you. You are thrilled to learn how things work and to understand a new process. So you are diving into it head first and it is driving me a little nuts...you've had the printer running for 3 days straight now despite me continuously asking you to stop. And I am learning to embrace that part of you and to admire it. As long as we can compromise at printing just 1 thing a day ;)
You also just built us an incredible addition to our chicken run...so awesome! and so much work you put into that. I LOVE seeing your finished products- the 3d printed game boxes, the gaming coffee table, the chicken run...you are so talented! and I am so so lucky to have you as my brave and magic. You can always fix things! You make me feel so safe. I know you will always take care of me. And if something breaks, you always know what to do. and when I'm overwhelmed, you can always calm me down. and you are always there- present- in our lives and willing to help. I am so so thankful for your presence- that you don't have to travel for work and can be home for family dinners and for church on Sundays. So so thankful! I couldn't imagine a better husband for me- you are so perfect for me! Or a better father for our girls. You are incredible, Jesus. and I love you! so so much! Thankyou for being my best friend. For always wanting to cuddle- even when I am sick and can't smell and am using a new homemade deodorant and don't realize I smell bad ;) and for getting up at the buttcrack of dawn so that I can rest. You amaze me! xoxoxoxo Natalie

a little bit of this and a little bit of that

well, this blog is looking a little neglected! i don't have much time right now, nor do i have a lot to say, but i just want to quickly document a bit of our relationship.  right now, our relationship is AWESOME. we went through some tough weeks during the newborn stage- the last time i wrote to you was right before June was born.  we definitely went through some of the normal post-baby angst- adjusting to our new family, sleep deprived, no sex for 6 weeks, etc. etc. and we fought kind of a lot, but it was SO much better this time around than it was when Johanna was a newborn. i remember the first year after Johanna was so hard. i do, of course, remember the sex was incredible after such a long time of meh sex (pregnancy and 6 weeks postpartum) and that was such a highlight for us. but we fought so so much. this time around, we are really working so well as a team- we are doing a great job communicating our needs and trusting each other and working to build each other up. we are being careful not to speak to each other's fears and instead to encourage each other and allow the other to grow and take time for themselves.  a few days ago, you got home from work and started watching a timbers game with Johanna and told me to get out and go to Goodwill and grab dinner by myself and you watched both girls! It was such a great time for me- i even found the shoes i needed for Alex's wedding- i came home feeling refreshed and ready again to tackle the day to day.  you have been working a lot of crazy hours and i *hope* i have been doing a great job of allowing you the flexibility you need and supporting you by not asking a lot of you at home, packing your lunches, playing games with you, etc.  we have been really enjoying each other lately- WOW my favorite yet.  i love how that part of our lives just continues to get better and better as we know each other more. i can't wait to see how incredible that part of our lives is in another 10 years! and you are so excited about your new job(s).  you just invested $2,000 on SNAG golf equipment for Jr. summer camps and i haven't seen you so excited in a long time. i need to work a little harder to show interest and let you show me how to golf! this summer is certainly going to be a time of growth for us as you work long hours between golf and the farm, but i pray that we can continue to invest in each other and put the other person first. we are both doing a great job of meeting each other's needs.  love how marriage is teaching us to selflessly serve each other and trust the other one to meet our needs.  you are my brave and magic- i trust you so much and i thank God for giving you to me to navigate life with. you are such an incredible father to our kiddos and you do such a great job of loving us and making us happy. you provide so well for us- i am so thankful for you! honestly, our marriage is the only part of my life that i feel like i am rocking right now! balancing the needs of both kiddos and household chores during the day is kicking my butt and proving to be really challenging, but the 1 hour i get with you every night is the HIGHLIGHT of every day and the time we spend together is my favorite. i love you, my sweet husband! i hope you are enjoying your little nap since you had to wake up at 5:30 to work. both girls are napping now too, so i get to sip on coffee and blog- what a rare treat! thanks for allowing me to spend my free time doing this instead of making sure every dish is washed or the toys are picked up- you are my dream come true. you bring out the best in me by teaching me how to relax and enjoy life and i will always thank you for teaching me that! xoxoxoxo 

Brave & Magic

When I was a little girl, I called my dad "brave and magic" when he fixed something on our boat.  He was so flattered, he went and bought me a ring pop.  And then the nickname stuck- because it had gotten me candy before, so it probably would again, right? ;)

I have recently started teaching Johanna to call you "brave and magic" whenever you fix something for us or lift something really strong, etc.  It is really cute to hear her lifting you up like that!  However, as I hear it more and more, I find myself really thinking of you as my brave and magical man.  You are always willing to work so hard for our family! You are my "Mr. Fix-it"- anytime anything breaks, I can almost always count on you to fix it- and usually by yourself! You are really brave- you would put your life on the line to protect our family and we all know it.  You are such a great protector for our family- and I am so thankful to have you!

Right now, I am 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant...so we could have this new baby anytime!  Our car has been in the shop for almost a week and you had to go pick up the car seat and hospital bag this morning because we have no idea how much longer it is going to take until we get the stupid car back.  And then, big pregnant oofy me dropped my phone in my foot soak last night and it completely broke.... sooo I am feeling a little frustrated. It feels like we have been trying to get everything off our list and have some down time before baby comes, but all these things keep coming up! B&G has had so much work lately, your mom has asked you to do a lot for the farm, we got a renewal notice for the van to go to the DEQ, but we have to get the check engine light fixed first, etc. etc. etc.  But you are working so hard to get everything fixed and I think in like 2 more days, we will have our van back and ready for the hospital and I will get a new phone in the mail.... money aside, at least the problems will be fixed ;)

Anyway, I just wanted to say THANK YOU for all that you do for our family! Thank you for making me feel calm when I could very easily feel overwhelmed here. I know that I can relax- I can go rest during Johanna's nap while you are out picking up a used computer for our van and dropping it off at the Honda dealership.  You are so good to me!

During our date yesterday, you told me you didn't feel ready for this baby to come yet.  You love our life right now and just want a few more days to savor it as it is before beginning our beautiful new adventure.  I love when you share your feelings with me- I sort of feel the same way.  Except I am huge and uncomfortable and tired, so I would rather not wait much longer! Our life is so so beautiful right now.  As excited as I am to meet this new baby and have our amazing family of 4, I love our family of 3.  Johanna is so so sweet and I love giving her so much attention and getting to just soak her up and think everything she does is magical! and I especially love our evenings together- I am a little afraid of not having time with you once new baby is here, but I know it will just be for a season and then we will settle into a new routine and a new normal and we will have time for our marriage again- but it sure has been fun getting to go on a few getaways with you now that I am not breastfeeding, and getting to go out on dates a few times a week, and playing lots of games! You are my very best friend and I enjoy you and our time together so so much.  I am just going to keep daydreaming about our big vacation when baby #2 is 1.5 or 2 before we start trying for baby #3... maybe a cruise or that B&B trip along the Cali coast you almost planned for our honeymoon....it will be so magical to have more than 1 night away with you in a row ;) ;) Love you so so much! xoxoxoxo

Hi :)

Hi wonderful :) Right now, you just got out of the shower and are getting ready.  I just got ready and am spending a little time blogging while Johanna hangs out naked eating crackers and watching Daniel Tiger....we are awesome parents ;) to be fair, she did get in the shower with me and at least I got lotion on her and her hair brushed before she ran off and wouldn't let me dress her.  I am 35.5 weeks pregnant and really feeling it.  I am tired a lot and feeling huge- hard to get out of chairs, can't paint my own toenails, baby gets up under my ribs a lot, out of breath for no real reason other than baby squishing my lungs, etc.  You are putting up with it pretty well- lots of massages for me which is my favorite part of most days! We bought me a Groupon for massages for Christmas, but the lady was booked up until end of January, so I won't get my massage 'til 38 weeks =/.  We have had a lot of time off lately and have been getting everything ready for baby! We have deep cleaned and organized the house, finished up so many projects, are doing all our car work and are ALMOST ready! We have to finish up some work on our new van and you are finishing up your portfolio from your level 1 PGA trip and then we want to get taxes done.  Can't believe there is only a month left til our sweetie comes! I am so ready for the next few weeks of deep rest- lots of time to just enjoy our girl, maybe head to the zoo once a week and just sleep during her naps, go to bed early, eat some freezer meals and just enjoy each other! We also had a busy holiday season- lots of Christmas fun! I am so lucky I get to spend so much time with you this winter- enjoying you tremendously! I am a little anxious for how this summer will look with 2 littles and you and I both trying to work, but with you by my side I know we will get through it! I am sorry this is kind of a boring blog entry, I just don't have the energy to think up all these sweet things to say right now... blah! Can't wait to enter this sweet new season of life with you- I remember with Johanna how romantic those first few weeks were- seeing you as a daddy just made my love for you grow! You are such a loving, sweet, fun man and I am so lucky to have you as my support and the father to our girlies.  Love you!! xoxo