Finding happiness...together :)

This morning, I was feeling overwhelmed.  I was stressing about all the things to get done for the wedding and all the changes taking place.  My dad told me last night to slow down and enjoy the last week before the wedding.  I was angry that he would think I wasn't enjoying it.  This afternoon, I took some time to slow down and think.  I went for a long walk and just thought.  He is right, I have not been enjoying it.  It has been making me anxious and tense and worried.  I have also been really worried about my job and how it will all end up come September when my internship ends.  I am scared because I am not loving my job.  I am scared because the job exacerbates my personality and encourages me to be always on, always stressed, always working.  That is NOT what I need in life.  I want to enjoy life!  I want to find what makes my soul sing.  I want to find something that I am passionate about and pursue it!  I know that I am passionate about being a mother- and I know that you are on board and someday when we are ready to have children, I can pursue that with my whole heart.  I am so excited for that and I am so thrilled that you are on board with letting me live out that dream!  But, until then, I don't want to waste away the years working at a job that leaves me feeling dull and empty.  I want to figure out what makes me happy, what I am passionate about, who I am.... I thought about all of this during my walk today.  I came up with several things that make me HAPPY

1) Exploring nature
2) Photography- I especially love taking pictures of people
3) Gymnastics and dance
4) Psychology- I especially love studying relationships
5) Supporting you- encouraging you in your walk with God, in your career, and in your personal development

I know that this summer is going to be a whirlwind with your job, the farm season, adjusting to our new home and lifestyle, and being newlyweds.  I know that the two months after our wedding and honeymoon will fly by and be busy as ever, and I am ok with that.  However, come September, I would really like to take some time to explore these different passions of mine.  I would like to do some studying, take some classes, go on some trips, explore, pursue... and find out who I really am- who God has made me to be!  I would also love to take some time and think about where we can plug in and volunteer.  I feel that volunteering and learning to give humbly and selflessly will be the biggest blessing for our marriage.  I am so excited to explore all these different areas with you and discover more about ourselves.  So many people say that 21 is too young to get married, but I disagree.  I am so excited to get to grow into our personalities and passions together.  We are still just discovering who we are and what we want out of life and I feel so lucky to have you by my side as I learn.  I feel so blessed to have you by my side to encourage me to keep growing and learning and to help me along the way!  I hope I can be a wife that encourages you and helps you grow.  I want to be the kind of wife that inspires you and takes pride in your accomplishments.  I want you to feel like a little school boy, running home to tell me what you learned or accomplished because you know I will be so proud of you.  I cannot wait to go through this with YOU.  You are the love of my life and I am so thankful for you!