Alright- I wanted to write one more love note to you before baby #3 gets here and rocks our world. I am so excited to watch you become a dad for the third time. and to a baby BOY this time! I am so happy you get your boy <3 We have really struggled picking out a name for this little guy... pretty sure we are settled on Ezekiel Adrian Espididion Gonzalez... but I feel a little sorry for the kid ;) This pregnancy has been different for sure. With Jo, it was just us. so many "last" dates and time to soak each other up before baby. And with June, Johanna was still so little and went to bed by 6:30 so we had every evening to eat dinner together by the TV, etc. etc. but this time around, our kids don't go to bed til 7:30/8 and they're waking us up by 6:30 at the latest plus sometimes multiple times a night. Our days revolve around working and trying to just keep up with life with a 3 year old and a 5 year old. We are exhausted by the end of the day! and we have really discovered we don't have super similar interests...it has been hard! you want to play your video games. and I would rather relax by the tv while doing something a little productive ;) and the lack of a sex life this time around has been really hard on us. I am not sure if I want to just forget it or never forget it...but you said something about how you weren't sure you even wanted a 4th kid because this pregnancy has been so blah compared to the last year and how good I looked last year and how it will be years before I look that good again if we have another... hahah. yikes! anyway, I am huge...gained like 35 lbs and none of my pregnancy clothes even fit. I am wearing XL granny panties that I cut the seams on. and my shirts ride up and show off my belly. and I am mostly in pajama pants at home. so sexy I know. and here we are at 37 + 2 and we still have such a to-do list... like I am stressed! I really really want a week to just relax as a family before baby, but I don't think we will get there. my current list just for tomorrow: finish thank you notes, do the girls nails, make spinach soup, laundry, get the infant carseat installed, make meatballs for the freezer, make more bath bombs for kids, finish all blogs (June, Jo, a first one for baby), walk the dog, make a perineal spray. and that is while you are at work while I'm home alone with our 2 girls who fight constantly and never stop asking me to play with them...so pretty sure I will only get 1/3 done. we still need to finish the final nursery set-up (getting foam on the ceiling), clean the outside well in prep for spring, get all the work your parents left us when they left for MX done, set up credit card auto pay, clean out all your crap from the garage, get so much sold on ebay/craigslist, get the dog kennel set up, and figure out what in the actual heck is going on with our house plans... trailer should be moving next week, but we don't even have solid plans to move forward. I am dying inside. that has been SO SO hard on me. I just want to move. we have been here over 4 years and it is not a good place to have a 3rd baby. we have no extra bedroom and I am terrified of sharing a room with baby boy. it has literally been the most stressful thing ever in my life I think. maybe because I have so little control over it. even when you and I agree on a general plan, we can't seem to nail anything down and we just go back and forth 8 million times. and then you are the one kind of in control and everything takes way longer than expected. anyway. I PRAY that next year, we will be in our new house, fully in our new normal of a family of 5, homeschooling successfully and just happy as can be! so many huge changes for our family this year and so much transition. and I am so thankful I get to do it with you! I wouldn't want to do life with anyone else <3 xoxoxoxo. here is to 8 weeks from now when I don't look like a whale and we can actually start having decent sex again and hopefully we are through the hardest part of the transition- I've heard 2 to 3 kids is kind of a doozy ;) LOVE YOU
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